Wednesday, January 1, 2014
The Proposal by S.R. Harris
It was the biggest day of her life as she grabs the microphone to go up onstage. But not for the reason she was hoping. He approaches her from the other end of the stage. Though she's was feeling Wowwed by his handsome appearance. She knew the charm of his ways on the inside which brought a huge mistrusting feeling through her. He approaches her with a microphone in hand he bows in front of her on one knee. With a smile on his face he looks in her eyes and say" Will you Marry me" "I love you". She was so overwhelmed with his beautiful smile and his deep brown eyes. How could she resist that? Then she looked deeper onto his eyes & saw his soul. The day she was always waiting finally came but sadness over came her spirit. For she knew she couldn't marry this man per her fathers instructions. Instructing her not to forget all that she has seen and all that was done to her. Be ware of Smooth talkers her father warned her! Overwhelmed with tears in her heart because she knew how much she cared for this man but she knew deep down that they didn't share the same type of love. Oh how she wishes they would be of one spirit with the same mind, same heart, and most of all the same God. Why did he have to hide himself from her for so long? Why did he stay away? Why did he inflict so much hurt and pain on her? Why so much physical, emotional, & psychological deception. Was our love real to him? Was it just a fun joke? As these questions went full speed through her mind she raised the microphone to her lips looking deep in his eyes. She knew deep down inside it was time for her to let this go and trust God to move forward. 3years she survived her lonely dry season with her & her father. While he instructed her along the way loving and caring for her feeling the empty void that the one she loved left so cold.
She accepted that they both where on separate journey's in life not sure how his journey took place. She knew for shore that his journey was without her.
She said "I'm sorry but I can't marry you" . No words could express the deep hurt they both felt at that very moment. He wouldn't let it go that easy with both having tears drowning their eyes. He looked in her eyes again and asked "WHY. I know you love me just as much as I love you and it won't go away no matter how hard we try to reject it and push it away. " With millions watching you would've thought that these 2 where in a private room of their own having this discussion. With all eyes watching and wondering what will happen next in suspense like their watching a real thrilling movie daring some one in the crowd to make one peep. Mouths open mixed emotions throughout the crowd. But these 2 still in their own world.
As she is dreading to look back into his big beautiful eyes now no longer filled with joy. Expression of longing
to have her as his own. Not understanding why she would say No after all they have both been through and made it out of. She lifts the microphone to her lips and says" I cannot marry you because you continue to operate off of my past and of the authority of Mammon and not God . You will & have also place me in the hands of dangerous men that claim to have mine and your best interest in mind. You will and have believed these things to be true. This is already what you have proven to me. You will compromise my life, yours , and our families. For these reasons I can not marry you.
His demeanor completely changes she watches the enemy take over him and anger fills his eyes he says "You are not perfect who are you to judge look at all you have done."she snaps back" We can go around all day arguing each others sins back and forth. Yes I am a sinner but i have been redeemed and forgiven in Christ striving to do better everyday. I have sat and allowed myself to be in contempt over pass things because of mens condemnation. I continually justify myself when Christ has already paid the price for me. He yells " He has done the same for me as well. Look at all I have done for you. yea maybe I wasn't there like i should've been. But I am here now! I claimed you when you didn't claim me back. I loved you anyway in spite of all you said and did past & present. I looked after you and the kids." He pause and then continues "I Waited as long as I could for you to do what you we're suppose to."
She breaks the eye contact for a moment reflecting back for a hot second then says"My father did all those things you claimed to do. Deceiving protection & manipulating love is what comes to mind when I hear you speak. Did you do these because God placed in your heart to love and protect me? or Did you do it on your own accord to win & collect whatever dirt you can? Silence....She continues
"I can no longer be chained to you and live my life bound in spiritual/physical captivity for the rest of my life. Nor in the world that you take part in. For if I were to make that vow to you i would be supporting your involvement and thats what i would be committing myself & our family to. I'm deeply sorry for all that I have said, done, and didn't do that hurt you and others. I apologize for not stepping up in those times that I should have. Having fear, lack, and slothful attitude. I pray that you will find forgiveness in your heart for me . She turns to walk away he lightly touches her hand and gently pulls her back.
He says "Im not letting you go. i don't know what it is that I'm apart of that you don't agree with but She interrupts him mid lie and says "Yes you do know! Beware of smooth talkers as my father would say. The fact that you will stand their and look me in the face and say that you don't fully confirms that i am making the right decision. I now have to place my trust in the only one that will not leave me nor forsake me. The one who loves me unconditionally in spite of it all. The Lord is not a man who gives when he wants and then places power in another mans hand to take away because things aren't being done the way a man wants it to. The Lord says his ways are not our ways. You use control methods fear and discomfort to get your way but that's not Christ way of doing things. Monitoring and stalking playing God from a distance. Then claiming to have heard a word from The Lord that this is his will and its not.
He then angrily jumps in and say" well he is allowing it so it has to be." Correction in her voice she says" No The Lord gives man a freedom of choice whether it be good or bad. He doesn't force anything on you satan test you to see whether you will make the right decision or the wrong one no matter what your status in life is. He wants to challenge your walk see if your life is lined up according to the Lords will and purpose; see where he can step in and destroy God's perfect plan. Satan seeks to destroy any and all confidence we have in our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He seeks to Sabotage any good will of The lord wherever a potential threat of power may lie he is looking to destroy it.
Now when we fall and make wrong choice even when the Lord had another door for us to take and we decide to take the wrong one. The Lord gives us chances to turn our wrong into right and say you know what this is wrong I'm not Doing it anymore. This will destroy the purpose The Lord has setup for me if I do this. Christ is looking for us to Step out on faith and walk away. Remember he Doesn't allow more on us than we can bare. Satan can only go so fAr with Gods children. When you make that decision to pack up and walk away from those things. He will send his angels of protection around you and cover your steps. No weapon formed against you shall prosper and his angels will go to war for you so you don't have to. God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think. know that he is "I Am that I Am". If you need motivation and or encouragement look into the eyes of his children. See their hurt, pAin, and struggle. Will you make the right decision and stop or will you continue in a way that's not pleasing to him? Will you continue to take advantage manipulate their spirits mold them into your spiritual creation and lead them into destruction. It is ok to say No I will not take part in this. That's what we teach our children not to take part in wrong doing. But as adults we tend to fall into these traps that satan sets before us. Luke 16 gives a more descriptive perspective on this. Part of our journey is learning to have faith in Christ and make right decisions that he would be pleased with. You placing his name in front of wrong doing isn't good. Bullying and targeting those less fortunate is wrong. they have enough things that comes with life than for you to add to it.
He quickly interrupts her before she could continue and says I will refer you to Ephesians 2:14-18 referencing us becoming one in the spirit through him. Then i will take you to John 3: 10-21 that Christ speaks on rebirth of him dying that we may have life again in him. We know and realize that God didn't send his son to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved. You see my love if becoming 1 in the spirit under Christ's teaching & allowing him to teach is proper Love in him. I must remind you that the love that we have and feel is Directly from heaven above. She then says" Yes but are you willing to be born again for the sake of Christ Love. Or are you going to continue in your own will ( your way) ?" He looks in her eyes without answering" This was no coincidence our Lord is of Love. Love come from him not satan he encourages hate and envy! Exactly! She says " so the question is what is in your heart do you really Love me the way Christ Love me & the church? Or do you have envy, hate, desire of control , lust what is it? Is your love for me genuinely pure and a Christ kind of Love? I really question it because of the things you have shown & allowed with the mindset of good purpose. My father says A house divided will not stand so It is important that we all know these thing. A man of God is to step away from his family and cleave to his wife. To Love and protect his family with honor and integrity. For you are to build a strong foundation for your family so if you are allowing weak and ungodly spirits within you what will allow into your family and what will their future hold due our poor choices. Let God arise and his enemies be scattered. Stand up!
Still avoiding giving her any direct answer to her questions he says "Christ say for us to think of those things that are good, truthful, lovely etc. You are my world! She respond " Is what I have said to you Not truthful and of a good report from our father in heaven. know that my love for you runs deeper than whats outside it deeply care for your spiritual well being. You have got to be spiritually strong and ready for what the Lord has brought you to . This is all Love for I didn't have to share these things with you. I could have kept them for myself selfishly and gave a simple No with no explanation whatsoever. My love for you is so much deeper this is how my father taught me to Love. So as my father would say " what would it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul.
He says" That is what I'm choosing to stand on is the good.
"In my eyes and my heart this is what I believe. I know I did wrong even some things I shouldn't have done I was wrong. I know one thing for certain is our love. He gave my heart to you and your heart to me. So that we may become 1 in him and be a blessing to others.
She replies " You can't continue to take others lives into your own hands that is not why he blessed you and placed you in the position that you are in so you can take control. You have to believe God is God and in his son Jesus Christ. Let him be God and stop taking matters in your own hands and under your own control and placing his name on it. Please know As I speak with you i also speak to myself. no one has perfected this faith walk but Jesus Christ himself. Our journey is to reach that mark. And encourage others to step out on faith and take the journey with us. Assist with spiritual maturity where we can and walk together so we don't lose this fight.
His demeanor perks up" See that's what I am saying we can be 1 together"
Her sarcasm disrupts the moment" First I'm delusional and crazy next I'm your world & the love of your life. You don't know me. Now want us to become one? How is this?
continue crushing the excitement yet again she blurts out
"You married another and said vows before God to another and committed yourself to her. He said" But I dont love her I love you. Its you that I want." She looks at him in disappointment and says "You stay with her and love her. For this is the commitment you have made to her. Whether false or not you belong to her now. My love will be from a distance until The Lord provides me with my own. Which he will choose the perfect man for me the one he has called to be. Christ has given us both new life. He snaps back "Don't let satan just take what he has brought together. She responds back" God's will will come to pass in his time & in his way so let his kingdom come and his will be done in both our lives. As of now You have decide on your new life and who you wanted on your journey with you so be with her Love her. The choice you made is no mistake God doesn't make mistakes. Man makes mistakes. If this is what he has called to be embrace it and be the man that God has called you to be. The story of Esther comes to mind right now. Im going to take the path that he has for me now no longer the path of destruction. I know man has their destruction/ attacks against me but my God will be there for me. Struggling with forgiveness of someone you love is normal. So in Christ we have to find that forgiving spirit The Lord already placed in us & we have to manifest it in our lives for forward movement. Your right about one thing I have a love in my heart for you. But I now place that love in Christ's hand and may his will be done in both our lives. " She kissed him gently and walked off stage.
She goes back to her dressing room and cal apse to the floor crying out "God"? Please give me peace, forgiveness, and pure uncontaminated love. I understand father that none of us are perfect but Lord I longed to be loved no longer abused and then have it considered love. I know you know what's best for me and have a plan. I have to trust your plan.